Only a Coward Shoots Himself in the Foot

So there it goes,

my self-esteem

I watched it throw itself out the window

I should probably do the same

but then again I’m too lazy to do anything.

I’m a sorry excuse for a human being,

always expecting life to serve itself to me on a silver dish.

I suffer from self-indulgence,

always twiddling my thumbs until the last minute,

then wasting my imagination on something pointless.

Always complaining about something,

my negativity has no boundaries,

always finding some shitty excuse not to do something,

never actually crossing the line to something good. 

See, I just did it again,

it’s like the black death,

dead words rotting in a tomb mouth.

Puzzles of a life,

swung like a golfclub,

kicked like a ball,

the face, the stare

is just one sorry fucking charade. 

I may show a smile, 

I may show a hint of happiness

but what I lack is consciousness and a fine ambition to do the right thing 

and not always take the easier way out.

I’m missing out on the good parts of breathing because I’m so self-obsessed,

thinking I’m always the victim.

I will eventually run myself six feet underground from shear hatred for having disliked so much about myself that my body just gives up. 

I was wet from birth and now I’m dry from living.

But one good thing,

amongst so many bad things,

I’ve taught myself, 

that gratitude lasts a long way.

I will always be thankful for what I’ve got,

and never take anything for granted.