I want to spin till I drop off the edge of the earth.
Disappear for a while until someone remembers who I am
and what I stand for.
I want to work my way towards the end
and still know what’s coming.
I want to see my life on a timeline to determine when and where to dissect the details.
Put things back where they should be
and leave certain things untouched.
I want to set my flat line back in motion.
Beep, beep.
I need to know if there still is a heartbeat underneath this chainmail ribcage I seem to be wearing.
I rip my hair but I still can’t find the chip you planted in me.
I want to pick at my brain with tweezers to find the source
and kill the voice that keeps shouting your name 24/7.
I want to electrocute myself to see if I can hit the restart button;
the button that’ll take me back to ground zero.
I’ll be trying these things to prepare myself for the coming years
because at the moment:
all I can taste
is the bittersweet taste of tears.
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